Oh Kevin, what a mess this man made. What’s so interesting about his jokes, other than the fact that they weren’t funny, is the amount of people who share his sentiments.
It’s almost the same as the number of people who’re offended. Half of y’all are like:
“Ugh, that’s disgusting, how can you say that about your kid? And what’s wrong with being gay anyway?”
The other half are like:
“I don’t see what the big deal is, I don’t want gay kids either.” Or, my personal favorite, “Shut the fuck up and let that black man host this white folk’s award show!”
I’m paraphrasing but you catch my drift.
His comments did irritate me, although I’m sure he wasn’t really gonna go upside his son’s head with Barbie’s Dreamhouse. Plenty of parents pass out empty and meaningless threats on their kids lives when they’re upset enough.
But I’ve heard this silly ass “I don’t want my kids to be gay” song before. I know plenty of people, some are my own family, whose feelings would range from disappointed to devastated if they found out their kids were anything but straight. Yet in that same breath they’ll say, “But I don’t have a problem with gay people.”
Clearly ya do sport.
One of the most interesting justifications I’ve heard is, “I don’t want my child to have to go through what being gay comes with”, which you’ll hear more from black folks because we’re already marginalized as fuck, and so the rationalization is that life is already hard enough being black without being gay on top of it.
I’ve never had a problem with facts, but my biggest problem with this line of thinking is that it walks and talks like the mindset of people who bleach their kids skin because they know dark skinned people are historically undervalued in comparison to the lighter and whiter skins of the world.
They think that by bleaching their kids skin they’re “helping” them avoid such perils. Whew chillay, the irony.
So instead of teaching kids to embrace their individuality, and maybe become someone who can destroy these barriers, we’re forcing kids to blend in out of fear of widespread rejection and ridicule because we live in a world that only celebrates “non-threatening” individuality.
“Be you all day long, but not if it makes people uncomfortable. If you start making people feel weird then you gotta shut that shit down.”
Bitch… nevermind that being “comfortable” is relative from person to person, and sometimes hour to hour. There’s plenty of things that used to make me uncomfortable, and over the years I’ve learned to either embrace them or simply not give a fuck. The old timers like to call it: growth.
But a lot of folks don’t wanna let go of their precious ideals, not even if these ideals contribute to the disenfranchisement of a subgroup they don’t belong to. Like, why should they care?
All they know is they’ve been taught a certain way of life and fall into the mind of: “Oh well, it’s just the way shit is and it’s not gonna change,” or… “Good, it should be this way.”
Know who else falls into these categories? Racist adjacents and blatant racists, respectively. Same with people who defend pedophiles and other abusers, and the abusers themselves, but I digress.
Bottom line: The same society that teaches gender norms is the same one that embeds racism, bigotry and misogyny into the fabric of its social infrastructure. It’s also the same society that sells us food that makes us sick so they can sell us drugs to keep us sick. But that’s yo king right?? OK.
At what point are we gonna say, “Well if they’re wrong about all these things, maybe they got this whole sexuality shit twisted too?”
I don’t care about Kevin hosting the Oscars because I wasn’t watching them anyway even though I’m rooting for all the coloreds. And I definitely don’t give a shit that he’s scared of his kids getting bit by the gay bug.
Kevin, his family and his pocketbook will be just fine, but there’s still someone somewhere who’s so terrified of what society thinks of their true identity that they’d rather kill themselves than be themselves. And that’s the real problem.
I’m glad he at least admitted that it’s his own insecurities that made him say that dumb shit, most people haven’t and won’t ever make it that far.
But we gotta start doing better and pull back the curtain on this half ass “Be Yourself” movement. Because on the one hand - we crucify people for being narrow minded but we also can’t deal when people step too far outside the box.
And that’s save for people who step outside the box so they can hurt others.
We gotta get to a point where we understand the meaning of live and let live, (or, love and let love) and not be so bothered by the unfamiliar. It’s a long, hard road ahead but the first step is making it safe for people to acknowledge their inherited faults, and giving them room to broaden their limited perspective.
My support for Kevin is no greater or less than what it was before, but I feel like we’re gonna be waiting a long time for him and all the other supporters of bullshit to truly embrace the concepts of love, tolerance and empathy.
Until then we gotta to treat them like the drunk uncle in your family. You know they lame, you feel ashamed but you love em the same.